Be confident, but not cocky. Be direct, but not aggressive. Be ambitious, but not intimidating. No matter how carefully women navigate the leadership minefield, they are judged by a different standard—one that rewards assertiveness in men but penalises it in women.
In boardrooms and offices everywhere, women walk a tightrope.
You may have had these thoughts running through your mind: If I step forward and assert myself, will I be labelled arrogant, abrasive, or difficult? If I hold back and wait my turn, will I be overlooked or dismissed?
This is the leadership trap for women—a double bind where the traits that signal strength in men are penalised in women. It both manifests as personal biases and is embedded in the systems that define who gets hired, promoted, and seen as “leadership material.”
At MindTribes, we work with organisations to identify how these biases show up in employee processes like hiring, promotions, and performance management. We found time and time again that “merit-based” systems are only as fair as the people defining “merit.” And when leadership traits are coded to favour one leadership look and style (i.e., the conventional white male leaders), the playing field is already rigged.
So why does this happen? And more importantly, how do we fix it?
The leadership double standard for women
For decades, corporate leadership has been defined by traditionally masculine traits—decisiveness, confidence, and assertiveness. When men embody these traits, they’re seen as natural leaders. When women do, they are judged more harshly.
A study by Stanford Graduate School of Business found that when men and women engaged in the same assertive behaviour—such as negotiating forcefully—men were rewarded and seen positively as being “strategic”, while women were penalised for being “demanding.”
Other research points to the fact that women have to meet a higher bar than male colleagues to advance professionally.
Why women of colour face an even tighter rope
For women of colour, the leadership trap is even more restrictive, layered with racialised biases that dictate how we “should” behave. When your personality aligns with conventional racial stereotypes, you become invisible. When it contradicts them, you are labelled difficult and stand out like a sore thumb.
For instance, East Asian women, often stereotyped as meek and deferential, are perceived as lacking the assertiveness expected of leaders. If they do assert themselves, they risk being labelled cold or unapproachable. Black women, meanwhile, walk a thin line between self-advocacy and the “angry Black woman” trope, receiving harsher personality-based criticism than any other group. Latina women face the “fiery” stereotype, where expressing confidence can be misread as being overly emotional or confrontational.
Like many others, I’ve personally navigated this dynamic. In my experience in both academic and corporate settings, I constantly calculated how I came across, knowing that there are even fewer “acceptable” leadership styles for women of colour. For us, the margin for error is razor-thin. This constant self-surveillance takes up mental space that should be focused on delivering results, not managing perceptions.
Where the bias lives in hiring, promotion & performance management
Despite progress in diversity initiatives, bias is embedded in organisational systems. Our work at MindTribes revealed a clear finding: merit is not neutral.
Hiring still prioritises “cultural fit” over capability, subtly excluding culturally diverse candidates by reinforcing sameness. Affinity bias among hiring managers—hiring in their own image—remains a barrier to recruiting talents that may be equally as competent and bring invaluable diversity of thoughts.
Performance assessments often penalise women and particularly women of colour. For example, they are more likely to be judged on communication style, perceived confidence, or personality. This vague, non-actionable feedback limits career progression and fuels the false perception that diverse talent is “not ready” for leadership.
Promotion decisions remain highly subjective, relying on assessments of “executive presence” that are neither defined nor inclusive. MindTribes’ work reveal that culturally diverse employees are often stuck in middle management as a result. These barriers are not about capability; they are about perception.
Bias operates through informal networks, unspoken leadership criteria, and unchecked preferences that equate confidence with how you look and competence with familiarity.
Stop blaming women, start fixing the system
Until organisations actively remove structural bias from hiring, promotions, and performance assessments, progress will remain superficial. This is not a talent issue; it is a systemic one.
Telling women to “be more confident” or “lean in” misses the point—it shifts responsibility onto individuals rather than addressing the barriers embedded in workplace structures. The burden cannot fall on women to navigate a system that was never designed with us in mind.
At MindTribes, we have partnered with many Australian organisations to rethink and recalibrate their systems. For example, in our work with a large public sector client, we have seen how shifting from mentorship to sponsorship—where leaders actively advocate for high-potential women, rather than simply advising them—has led to measurable increases in leadership representation.
“This is not a talent issue; it is a systemic one.”
Belle Lim
With another private sector client, we helped evolve their performance evaluations. By removing vague, subjective feedback, they have seen stronger diverse leadership pipelines as they recognise and cultivate a broader range of strengths.
This isn’t just about fairness—it’s about business performance.
When companies penalise women for the same traits they reward in men, they overlook valuable talent. The real cost is missed opportunities for innovation, diverse decision-making, and long-term competitiveness. Organisations want to stay ahead need to redesign the systems that determine who gets to lead.
Forbes Women is mobilising a network of female business owners, entrepreneurs and changemakers who support and empower each other. Become a member here.
Dr. Belle Lim is a Director at MindTribes, a diversity, equity and inclusion consulting firm partnering with private and public sector clients. She is the Founder and Chair of Future Forte, a charity non-profit for international students’ gender equity.
