Teach a [person] how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime – Chinese proverb.
Growing up professionally in a legal environment, most of the women “at the top” had very masculine energies. Consequently, this was my frame of reference as a baby lawyer, who happened to be female: be more masculine in order to climb the ladder and succeed in leadership.
Less skirts, less makeup, less emotion, more pants.
There is a plethora of material already available about leadership: tools, theories, traits, trends; the shift from authenticity towards a heightened focus on empathy and leading from the heart centre.
However, little is discussed about the energy of leadership, in terms of the pranamaya kosha – the energetic layer of your being – that which cannot be seen but which can be felt.
A coin has two sides – heads or tails.
Similarly, in Taoist philosophy, yin is the feminine principle; yang is the masculine. Regardless of which gender with which you identify.
Before Bobby Axel Rod in the hit series Billions made working with a Shaman and spiritual leaders a little more mainstream, under the tutelage of my former architect turned yoga teacher, Byron Bay based Sian Pascale, I have raised my consciousness about how to balance my own Shiva (masculine) and Shakti (feminine) energies within.
According to Tantric philosophy, the Shiva – masculine, yang or sun energy – corresponds to the right side of our body, and the left hemisphere of the brain.
The masculine represents order, thinking, individuality, logic, intellect, competition, schedules, “get it done”, boxes, rectangles, straight edges. It’s the energy which defines most of our society and corporate life as we know it.
The Shakti – feminine, yin or moon energy – corresponds to the left side of the body, and the right hemisphere of the brain. The feminine represents intuition, community, circles, curves, flow, feelings, emotions and finding ways to support and work together.
Author of WomanCode and founder of the In The Flow app Alisa Vitti says “Both energies exist within each of us in varying amounts. Learning how to engage both fully is what ends up making a person psychologically, emotionally, and physically well. Just as you wouldn’t operate a remote control with only one battery, you need both of these energies as your power sources. They’re necessary tools for shaping your life.”
Here’s a self reflective exercise to summarise this more neatly and help you determine how balanced your energies are:
Step 1: Use the below grid to reflect on which words resonate with you from each part of the grid.
Step 2: Take a piece of paper and divide your page into four quadrants, as per the below.
Step 3: Without over thinking it, take in each word in the list of Quadrant 1. If the word resonates with you and describes you in the now, write it down in your corresponding quadrant. Don’t choose the word that you think sounds good for leadership, or that you want to be. Choose the words which are actual for you, of late or generally.
Step 4: Repeat for Quadrants 2, 3 and 4.
| Quadrant 1: Creative Available Fullness Appreciative of beauty Flow Listening Receptive Fulfilling Surrender Lightness Nurture Sensitivity Compassion Connecting Playful Flexible Connected | Quadrant 2: Passive aggressive Disempowering masculinity Seeking approval Lack of direction Smothering Aloof Insecure Over sensitive Needy Whingeing Nagging No sense of self Trying to find love through food Not listening Incongruent Sulky Giving beyond your means Indecisive Without boundaries Over nurturing Demanding |
Quadrant 3: Over confident Inflexible Over committed Denial Aggressive Half in half out Gives mixed messages Intimidation Stubborn Inability to provide direction Controlling Rigid No responsibility Insensitive Checked out Unclear Impatient Lack of leadership Leaves too soon Escapism Blame Volatile No care Cold Deflective Unable to ask for help | Quadrant 4: Structure Holding space Boundaries Direction Testing limits Outcome focused Adventure Decisive Logical Provides structure Call for action Certainty Planning Purpose Problem solving Clarity Protector Initiating Energy Empty Singular Focus Commitment |
Step 5: Reflect (but don’t judge – this is important) on the words you have chosen for yourself, and how they may be impacting your leadership.
You may have deduced that that the Quadrants represent the following: Quadrant 1 describes the traits of healthy feminine energy attributes. While Quadrant 2 describes the traits of the unhealthy or overused feminine.
Quadrant 3 describes the traits of the unhealthy or overused masculine energy. While Quadrant 4 sets out the traits of balanced or healthy masculine energy.
Step 6: Don’t judge yourself for the outcome, or the words that you have chosen for yourself. It may be just the way things are right now. We are fluid beings.
According to the yogic philosophy, “balance” means a 70:30 split between the dual energies.
That is, 70% feminine; 30% masculine if you are female. 70% masculine; 30% feminine if you are a male.
If you are in a leadership role you may find that your work requires you to display and embody many of the energies contained in Quadrant 4 – the healthy masculine.
Thus, if the goal is to balance of these energies, then it’s important to remain cognisant of how you can include more feminine energy into your working day.
For example, if you identify as a female, try and lead with the feminine first. Meaning making your workspace more feminine – flowers, a plant, and having some softer tones around you, a rose quartz crystal, using essential oils such as geranium, rose, or bergamot.
Consider also how outside of your work you can subsist more in the divine feminine.
Leadership is complex, layered and easier said than done. As with all human endeavours and indeed in the natural world, striking that balance and harmony within impacts on how you show up externally.
And don’t feel perturbed if the frame identifies that you are out of balance; it’s an opportunity to consciously choose and take steps towards harmonising your masculine and feminine energies.
With expectations on leaders mounting in today’s every changing personal and professional environments, understanding how you intrinsically “fish”, and how to be the yin to your own yang can be incredibly enlightening and impactful – for you and those around you.
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