Meet Gabriella Pomare: Mother and Parenting Expert Setting Higher Standards for Collaborative Co-Parenting in Australia

Co-parenting in Australia rests on the shared responsibilities of separated or divorced parents; all centred around their children’s well-being and best interests. It involves parents working together and sharing the responsibilities of raising their children even though they are no longer in a relationship.

While shared parenting suggests an ideal of cooperative engagement, the reality can be challenging, especially when separations are fraught with conflict or lingering emotional issues. It is a commitment beyond arranging visitation schedules—it encompasses agreeing on parenting styles, communication, and financial responsibilities to support the child’s development.

For Gabriella Pomare, a seasoned Australian family law expert and a navigating co-parent herself, co-parenting can become tricky, tiring, and complicated. As much as parents want to make it easy to deal with, many factors must be considered and settled upon. In the process, issues affecting a child’s well-being can add toil and complications.

With her firsthand experience in the process complexities, Pomare has identified effective strategies to manage the intricacies of family separation. Through her online resource, The Collaborative Co-Parent, Pomare offers tailored guidance to separated parents and helps them navigate co-parenting with a focus on respect and, primarily, the child’s welfare. Her process shields children from the adversities of divorce and maintains a nurturing environment for their growth.

What Pomare Learned in Her Personal Experience

Pomare’s perspective on co-parenting is rooted in her experience of separation several years ago when she began the co-parenting journey with her then-one-year-old son, Teddy. Confronted with the realities of her new situation, Pomare embraced the notion that “uncoupling did not have to equate to breaking up the family unit.”

This belief challenges the conventional narrative that a separation must inevitably fracture a family. Instead, Pomare argues for redefining the family structure—one that maintains integral connections and supportive environments for children despite the physical separation of the parents. Her process preserves family unity and continuity, which is crucial for the family’s emotional and psychological well-being.

Pomare adds, “Children deserve the possibility of having the best possible future despite their parents’ separation. Children deserve to be children. They deserve a childhood free of adult conflict and decision-making. For this reason, as separated parents, we need to choose to parent our children together rather than force them to pick sides.”

Pomare uses this philosophy to guide other separated families in her professional practice and personal advocacy. She provides resources and guidance, encouraging parents to communicate under this co-operative family concept.

Her work embodies the principle that while partners may part ways, they can still successfully coalesce around their shared commitment to raising their children in a harmonious and loving environment.

When Honesty is the Most Effective Way

Pomare’s outlook on co-parenting is deeply influenced by her foundational experiences as an associate to a justice of the Family Court of Australia, where she was well-exposed to a spectrum of family law cases, observing both the most effective and the most contentious separations. This vantage point provided her with firsthand insights into the crucial role that honesty and open communication play in the dynamics of family law.

Witnessing the best and worst outcomes, Pomare gained a clear understanding of how transparent communication can significantly impact the well-being of all parties involved, especially the children. From these observations, she learned that fostering an environment where prioritising honest dialogue could lead to seamless resolutions and a smoother transition for families undergoing separation.

“Open communication and honesty between co-parents are foundational elements in establishing respectful boundaries and effective rules that benefit the entire family, especially the children,” Pomare adds.

When parents commit to transparent and positive dialogue, they set the stage for mutual respect and understanding that transcends personal conflicts. This openness allows them to discuss and find common ground on essential aspects of parenting, such as schedules, educational decisions, and healthcare considerations. With clearly defined boundaries and rules, both parents know what to expect from each other, reducing potential conflicts and misunderstandings.

For Pomare, this collaborative approach to co-parenting brings a safe and peaceful environment where children feel that nothing changed and their parents, though separated, still work together for their benefit. 

“It’s about providing children with a stable and reassuring environment post-separation,” she adds.“This sense of security is crucial for children’s emotional and psychological well-being and vital to their ability to adapt to new family dynamics.”

Making Co-Parenting Light and Easy

In her mission to make co-parenting more manageable, Pomare extends her aptitude beyond traditional consulting by utilising widely accessible platforms such as Instagram and her free e-book titled “Communication is Everything.” Understanding the challenges many parents face during moments of struggle, Pomare lightens the load by providing practical tips through these mediums.

Her use of social media and digital publications democratises the availability of co-parenting resources, making it easier for parents, regardless of location or situation, to access valuable guidance. This technique makes collaborative co-parenting accessible to all, especially for first-timers, offering support and solutions that can be implemented immediately.

Pomare recognises that while co-parenting can sometimes require formal and legal interventions, the basics of effective communication and collaboration often need to be more approachable and less daunting.

She breaks down the barriers of traditional legal advice, which can seem intimidating or overly technical, by sharing her insights through broader platforms. This empowers parents to handle co-parenting challenges more confidently.

Through these new practices, Pomare broadens the scope of her impact and creates a supportive community around the principles of collaborative co-parenting. This ensures parents feel less isolated and more equipped to create a stable and loving environment for their children, setting higher standards for co-parenting to look forward to both in Australia and internationally.

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